Away...

I am the most positive person you'll ever meet, I swear.

But ever since I arrived in a place away from home, I felt like everything just turned upside down. Now I truly understand how working away from your comfort zone feels.

But please don't get me wrong. From the bottom of my heart, I am honestly grateful for this one of a kind blessing. If not for this secondment opportunity, Australia may never be part of the list of the places where I have been.

I'm here for four and a half months. I flew out of the country just a week after I got married. No honeymoons and wife duties yet.

On my first day at work, it felt the same as working back home, only that I don't speak Tagalog. It was hard for me at first to express my thoughts because everybody here speaks English really good! (Of course!) And I was eaten up by how they show confidence in everything that they do. That confidence that would want to tell you that "hey, I'm really good at this." But I don't want to comment further. :D

So is it really like this to be working with people of other culture, of other race, of other color? I talked to my other office mates who are currently in Houston to share how I feel. And unsurprisingly, we all feel the same.

But now that I'm writing this, I realize that what makes this really hard for me is that everyday after office, I would go home and see no one there. Yes, I am alone. My husband is miles away from me. I kiss my mom and my sisters through Skype. At least I was sent here when technology is up and it makes homesickness a little less felt.

Now I wonder, maybe this is really what I wanted. Because I never asked for this. But then my ever loving God brought me here. It is in the thought that He knows the true desires of my heart that I get peace of mind. Whatever experiences and feelings that I have while I am here are part of my preparations for a grand blessing which I am about to receive. I have to constantly remind myself that I am being prepared for something really BIG! And all the things which make me feel sad, alone and super stressed here are blessings in disguise.

I still have 86 days to do honor Him and the name that my parents gave me. And day by day, the things He prepared especially for me will reveal one by one. At the end of it all, I will always be thankful and grateful for everything, and I mean everything, that God allowed me to experience while I am here. :)